Waiting.... On Something

It's been some time since I have posted anything on this blog, and I am in a spot in life right now that I thought it would be a good time to go ahead and post something for anyone who may be following this blog. 

I have been waiting for something to change in the world, to show me that things are getting better. However, the more I wait, and search for an "answer", the more I am finding the universe telling me to go within, and seek the answer for my question from myself. So, I have started to contemplate using some far eastern philosophy techniques to help myself get to the next point of awareness.

The Far East Philosophy

I'm not entirely sure what this will look like just yet, but, as I progress, I am hoping to find more awareness, and guidance from whatever higher source acknowledges my existence. I have always been attracted to the Taoist philosophy, and practicing this has always seemed straight forward for me. As of right now though,. I am not practicing anything on a regular basis. But, as I am able, I intend to start being more mindful, and practice some breath work, and meditation. 

As the world continues to re-create itself as everything happens in DC, I am doing my best to stay in observation mode, and follow where the energy leads me. While I am practicing these observations, I will attempt to start doing what is known as energy cultivation, which according to what I am learning, helps to keep one healthy, vitalized, and healed. This is a practice that has been used for some time in the far east for many many hundreds of years. 

As Energy Flows

So, I will try to continue to update as I am able to, and hopefully share some information that could help those who may be still following this blog. 

Until next time, 

D

Hind Sight

 Taking Perspective

 

   Looking At The Path Behind Me

    I have spent the past almost seven months now in the midwest, because I was moved here for a job, which I no longer have. Being here, and needing to navigate the path I am on, has been overwhelming, stressful, and challenging all at the same time. I am usually pretty good at paying attention to my intuition, but even though I believed I was being led to come here, it really was not the next right step for me to take. Additionally, I am still dealing with my loss, and trying to work through that. There is an old saying.. "Hind Sight Is Always 20/20". I am not sure if I totally agree with that, but knowing what I know now, and seeing how this move has been overly stressful, and not supportive, leads me to believe that as long as I pay attention to  my hind sight, I will learn the lesson that I need to. 

  

   Still Planning On Going "Home" 

    As I plan on moving back to wear I moved up from, I am facing new challenges of a unique kind in finding a job, and a place to live in the area that I want to one day settle down in. I am confident that I will get this task completed, but not sure exactly how long it will take to get back. I don't have any desire to remain where I am currently staying, but I know that everything happens for a reason, and it usually happens in "divine timing" which I like to believe is perfect. However, as human nature goes, I am anxious and ready to be back "home" in the mountains, and enjoying all that that affords me to do. Once I get back, I don't plan to uproot myself again, unless something extremely important happens on my path. However, I will do all I can to take it one step at a time. 

 

    Not Happy

    The longer I stay in the area I am currently in, the more "empty", and numb I seem to feel. I'm not sure if it's being in the geographical location, or dealing with my life circumstances as they continue to unfold. All I can do is trust the process and make the choices I want to when opportunities present themselves. 

 

    That's all I have for this time. Until next time, remember to be true to yourself, and trust your intuition. It will never steer you wrong. 

D 

 

                                Grieving Again

 

Time to heal some more

It has been two years and almost four months now since I lost my buddy, and I am still healing. I did find a "new" cat that I took on for about a year, but, I surrendered her today to the local shelter because I am still not ready. I originally took her because she looked exactly like the Christed Buddha. But, she wasn't him, and that took me a little while to learn. So, now I am alone again, and I am not looking for another kitty until I have fully grieved and really feel I am ready for another pet. 

 

Working on getting back "home"

Also, I am now living in the Midwest part of the country, and as they say hind sight is always 20/20, I am now seeing that the move was one of the worst decisions I have made as of late. My intent was to be closer to family, but that "reason" didn't pan out like I thought it would. 

 

Stay tuned

So, that's about all I had to say this time, and I will do what I can to post again soon. My intent is to get back to the south as soon as I can, but it is proving more challenging then I thought it would be. However, I will continue my forward movement.

Until next time,

D

Infinit possibilities

 

It's been some time since I have blogged about anything, so I wanted to take a moment and post something up.

Lots of change

There has been a huge amount going on in my life as of late. After I graduated college, I was looking for a job in my field, which I found in another state. So, I had to move across half the country to obtain this position, only to later on loose it. Needless to say, it has been a trying time for me in this new place, alone, and with no support. 

Change, the universal constant

After moving, change continued to be in my field, and impact my life. Yes, I lost my job that I moved all the way across half the country for, but was I brought all this way for just a job? I don't know the answer to that question yet. Slowly, I am starting to build my support network here, and I am meeting new people, and obtaining new employment. All that said, at this current moment in time, I am still planning to move "back home" close to the place I came from. While things are continuing to change, I am starting to practice some of my other talents such as photography. So, it's an interesting time in my life for sure. 

One step at a time

I am constantly trying to do my best to take things one step at a time. Most of the time, I am frustrated about the feeling of being "stuck" in a place I don't know, and don't have a large support system set up, but if I keep moving forward one step at a time, I am confident things will start to come together eventually. 

Still suffering loss

I am still dealing with my loss from time to time, and I get sad thinking about not having my buddy by my side any longer, but I know one day we will be reunited and everything will be balanced once again. For now, I take it one day at a time, and do my best to move that loss energy as I'm able. 

Until next time

I guess that's it for now. Thank you again for following me, and reading my blog. If I can remember, I will do my best to start posting on a regular basis again, and update as things continue to unfold on this new path I'm on. 

D

Coming to terms

 

"

As I continue to walk the path I am on, I'm still coming to terms with my life, the way the world currently is, and how I can integrate everything I have experienced in the past year plus into this moment. 

Do what I can to be in this moment

Learning to let go, and just be in the moment is something I have practiced for some time now, and suffering a loss, or experiencing a major issue in life has a way of "derailing" one from continuing on the path that they have known. As I have wrote about since I started this blog, I have went through loss, and then I have also had to endure the propaganda that has been put out by the military industrial complex, and try to remain balanced. Obviously this is very challenging, and most times unattainable. 

Learning to be in the flow

As I have taken in all of these experiences, I have done what I can to cope with life, and the way the world currently is. As you can surely expect, being in a place of acceptance, and non-action is not an easy place to be with the world as it is right now. I can recall about something that Bruce Lee said once in an interview. He was asked about how he was able to do some of the things that he did in life, with his body, and what that "looked like". He commented on water, and I quote "water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend". Learning to flow with life is a life long endeavor which most will never master, but from time to time, being "in the flow" does happen. I try my best to be in the flow of my life, and allow experiences to unfold as they happen. However, again, it can be challenging. 

 

Until next time, be like water my friend. 

A poem for you to ponder

 

I have written a poem for you to take in. It's written with the intent to help awaken, but not specifically with that purpose in mind. 

Feel free to comment, as always. 

D

The Place We’re In

Remembering the days of happiness and glee,

wandering the world without a care and free

Seeing the zombies all around me believing the lies, 

not understanding why they don’t wake up and see the truth with their own eyes

Our elected officials spewing out “mandates” left and right, 

fully understanding the fear they are pushing will affect most of the populace day and night

Those of us fully awakened to the propaganda machine knowing what’s to come, 

sitting, waiting, anticipating all the lies coming to light, like a blade of grass in the mid day sun

No more hugging, no more kissing, no movies for you

says the military industrial complex manipulators until their face turns blue

Humanity slowly waking up to what has always been right in front of them to see,

some unable to handle to truth, as it’s so evil and unbelievable in a world that’s supposed to be free

War drums being pounded on by the patriots to help the awakening come about,

waiting for the systems puppets to have had enough and become strong and stout

Seeing truth being uncovered in the “news” one little piece at a time,

doing my best to trust the plan like we’ve been told while we hold the line

Inch by inch it seems the lies and corruption are being uncovered,

the deep state doing all they can to keep the truth from being discovered

As Yoda once said in one of the famous movies he was in,

“pain leads to suffering” but in the end justice will win

So, as we stand by and watch the clown show on the zombie box unfold,

just know that everything is happening exactly as you have been told.

Update and current status

 

So, it's been some time since I have posted anything on here for many reasons. Mainly because I am now employed, and my time is occupied by my job. But, I thought it would be a good idea to write an update as to where I am now, and how things are currently going. 

As of this writing, the world, not just one country, or municipality, is still under the belief that there is a "pandemic" happening, and that it's the worst thing since the black plague, which of course is 100% horse shit! There is more then enough evidence to prove that we are NOT in a pandemic, and that people are not actually dying from what the propaganda being spouted by the main stream media is claiming. If you are new to my blog, feel free to go back a few to review all of the information that I have shared about this propaganda. 

It is also 2021, and still no flying cars, like in the Jetsons. Also the U.S. is now under the siege of a dictator like regime that has illegally and unconstitutionally occupied the white house. The presidential election of 2021 will go down in history as one of the most corrupt, and fraud laden "elections" ever to have taken place. It wasn't actually an election as much as a stealing of the presidential office. There has been more then enough evidence, and documented information shown to prove that election fraud happened without a doubt, but again, the populace of this country have been trained to such a degree to believe what the main stream media says as "truth" that they don't even question anything that comes out of the bought and paid for "news" propaganda machine any more. It's actually a very sad time for this country, and this planet right now because of all the corruption being allowed to continue to grow and fester. It sickens me, as an old Marine, sworn to protect the constitution of this country from ALL enemies foreign and domestic. All I can do now is continue to be steadfast, and stand in the truth and patriotic faith that I have that everything will work out in the end. 

On a personal note, I am doing somewhat better with processing my loss. I am still dealing with grief from time to time, but I am feeling better, for the most part. I have not rescued another cat yet, as I intend to move, but I'm feeling better about the idea of having a new little buddy in my life.

I guess that's about all I have for now. Until next time, I will leave you with this quote. 

"When injustice becomes law, resistance becomes duty" Thomas Jefferson 

Moving Forward

 

Taking it one step at a time

As we continue to venture forward through the mire of the illusion that most call reality, I am continually reminded of the need to stay grounded, and let go of anything that doesn't serve to lift me up any longer. It's been going on seven months now since I lost my buddy, and I am finally starting to feel somewhat normal again. Additionally, I am slowly doing my best to remember that sometimes things need to happen in society to help wake humanity up. This "pandemic" situation is one of those events. My hope is that one day in the future we can all look back on this time in the world and laugh at how silly, and ridiculous we were by letting the illusion continue for as long as we did.

 

Staying occupied

As it happens, I finally found a job in the field that I was trained in, and have a degree for. So far, I am enjoying the work, as it helps to occupy my mind, and keep me busy aware from the house, so I don't think about past losses, and how I feel. From time to time though, I still have "one of those days", and I have to allow myself to continue to feel the emotions as they come. If I deny my feelings, they would destroy me from the inside out. So, please remember this if you happen to be dealing with anything in your own life. Denying your emotions the space they need to be expressed could drag one down to the lowest of places in life. Honor yourself, and do what you can to let the emotions flow when they need to. 

More posts to come

I will do my best to start posting on a more regular basis again to keep you posted on what is happening with me. I hope, as I have said in the past, that the topics that I discuss here are worth your time, and bring you some insight, even if it's only a bit, into what life is, and how it can be. Every one of us is different, and as I express myself through these posts, I hope they help in some way to move you forward on your path.

The Grieving Process Of Loss Continues

Not What I Planned

The process of working through my loss is still under way. I did not plan this blog to be so focused on what I am going through personally right now, however, it's possible that what I am posting for all to read may one day help someone, somewhere that knows exactly how I feel, and will read my words, and appreciate that I have shared them. To that end, I will continue to share as I am able.

Physical Effects Of Grief

As I am continuing this process, I have noticed other physical experiences manifest to a degree. So, I did a web search and learned that when one has a traumatic loss in their lives of a beloved family member, or anyone whom they loved whole heartedly, they will most times experience more than just the emotions of grief, sadness, anger, and loss. They may also experience some physical things that manifest into their lives because of the loss itself. The loss of appetite, thus not eating, sleeping more then normal, not being as active, etc. I have experienced some of this myself, and I wasn't sure if it was something that was happening with my body, or if it was something I was experiencing because of the loss I am dealing with. I do what I can to be gentle with myself, but even now, almost two full months after I lost my buddy, I am still struggling to find any positive outlook on life daily. This is normal, as per the training that I had in my social work classes, but I did not expect my loss to hit me so hard, or last this long.

To learn more about other potential symptoms one might go through when grieving a loss, you can check this web site and read the article.

How to Cope With the Physical Effects of Grief

Empty Feeling Still Around

Something that seems to be a constant companion of mine on this journey is the empty feeling I have, which could be attributed to my buddy no longer being here physically, but the empty feeling goes beyond the physical. Every day I wake up, and most days I go over in my mind, if I should even get out of bed. When my buddy was still here, I had to get up and feed him his breakfast, which would get my day of to a start. There was a structure to my life that I enjoyed, that is no longer there. Me and the Christed Buddha had a beneficial arrangement that worked very well for the both of us. I cared for him, physically, emotionally, psychologically, and he cared for me, in many of the same ways. There is a belief that states that our beloved pets remain after they have crossed over. Their energy, if you will, remains to help us humans to cope with their loss. I have not experienced this myself, which could be why I feel so empty, and directionless most days. The feeling of being numb to the world fits me very well where I am on my path right now.

The Process Will End

Eventually I know things will improve, but I'm not sure exactly when that will be. Again, I'm doing my best not to rush the process, as every individual experiences this differently. But, right now, in this moment, I am ready to not feel so sad, and empty, and not having a direction. I want to feel happy, and be able to appreciate the beauty of the world once again... some day soon.

Until next blog, thank you for your visiting with me, and your comments.

D

P.S. Here is another article written for those whom have lost their pets.

Bereavement: Grief After The Loss of A Pet

Dark Night Of The Soul

Dark Night Of The Soul

Today I will take you down the path that I have been on for the past month and some change. The path to the dark night of the soul is one of loss, and grief. As you well know, I have recently lost a very close soul to me in my beloved pet of more then 10 years. When I was first made aware of the situation in which he was in, I was immediately thrown into the decision making responsibility, which put his life into my hands. This process automatically started a chain reaction in my life, which lead me to embarking on the journey into the dark night of the soul. This path is rife with sadness, anger, grief, rage, disappointment, denial, and disbelief. As I worked my way through these emotions, I started out with sadness, and disbelief. In fact, I am still dealing with these right now. The impact they have on my life isn't as pronounced, but they are still my daily companions. Next for me in the process came anger, with some rage sprinkled in there. I am still also dealing with this one, and it comes on all of a sudden, and I have to honor the grieving process, so I do my best to allow this to happen as naturally as possible. However, sometimes this tears me down, in that moment. For me, the next stop was disbelief, and disappointment. These came to me as a pair, and I had to deal with the fact that my buddy, the Buddha, was gone, permanently. That still hurts for me to see, but I know that it's a fact now. So, that's how my journey has been so far. Keep in mind that not everyone will have the same journey. Your departure onto the path of the dark night of your soul may look a lot different then mine. However, some common themes to keep in mind will be sadness, deep sorrow, and the disbelief of what is happening. Something else that I forgot to mention is the empty feeling that I have felt almost since day one post Buddha. The feeling of emptiness in myself, and my house. Actually, my entire life feels empty now because of the loss I have suffered.

What Do I Do Now?

At this point in the process, if you have ever been through a loss, or go through one in the future, you will be wondering, ok, now what? Rightly so. To be honest, there is no "easy way" to get to the end of this type of a process. Loss and grief needs time to be processed, and you need time to heal. Both physically, and psychologically. There is no "right way" or "wrong way" to go through this type of experience. It just kind of happens the way it's supposed to. For me, I journaled A LOT, in the first few weeks of my loss. Along with this journaling was a huge amount of shedding tears. I can't remember the last time that I cried so much, or for so long. Keep in mind that if you are going through a loss like this, that you need to allow yourself to experience the process as much as possible. It's not going to be easy, and yes it will hurt deep inside. But going through the process, and getting onto the path that leads to the dark night of the soul is the only way to the end point of the healing process. So, what you do now is what comes natural to you, as in individual. Whatever works, FOR YOU.

When Will This Pain Go Away? 

This is one of the hardest parts to go through when someone is experiencing loss, and going through the path of recovery. The pain one feels comes from deep inside. It almost feels like it's coming from somewhere so deep within that it's difficult to imagine ever being able to feel "normal" again. This part is highly dependent on how much "work" the individual is willing to do with themselves, and how often they are able to dive deep into the emotions that this part involves. Again, this is unique to each individual, and will differ for every person. Thus, what may take me six months to go through in my healing process may take someone else only two months. But keep in mind that you must work through the pain in order for it to dissipate.

All Better In The End

Finally, at the end of this process, which I am not at yet, there is the obvious change that one will experience when they get up in the morning. For the first time in a long time, they may feel happy. Or they may actually WANT to do something. They may feel drawn to go see a friend they have not talked to in months. This part is one of the best parts of the dark night of the soul journey. So, if you happen to be going through this process right now, understand that there are others out there that know what you are experiencing. Understanding that they will have a different path then you, but there will be an understanding that they can have that even some of your closest family members may not have to offer you.

Feel free to comment below and subscribe to my blog.

Until next entry,

D

All Beings Matter

So, with all of the "Black Lives Matter" stuff going on right now, I thought I would post a little something on this. First, I want you to actually read what Jim Morris, a former vegan body builder had to say about all life on the planet. -- Now, think about how laser focused this current movement is. It's not about bringing us all together as a peaceful collective consciousness, instead, "they" (however they are) are trying to keep us divided by focusing on ONE event, doing all they can to get it on all of the "news" networks main story line, loop it, and watch all of society loose it's mind. I ask you, does that sound loving, or accepting of every being on the planet?! No, I don't think it does

So, I would pose the idea that every living being on this big mud ball has value, and the right to choose their own life, and how they live it. Just like what Jim says in his quote above. No one type of being is any more or less important then any other one. Yes, I'm talking about all animals to. But, to stay on the topic of what is happening now, I pose this thought for you to ponder, until we come together as a collective consciousness, and accept everyone, where they are, as they are, with no judgement at all, with a loving heart, we will never experience what could be a "better world", or an ideal world like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr talked about. What happened to George Floyd was wrong, and the individual that caused the incident to happen should be held accountable. Taking this situation, and using it to keep us divided, as a collective community, is exactly what the elite, and the media moguls want to do.

They don't want us to wake up to the fact of realizing that every conscious being matters on the planet. For as soon as we come together, in unity, and acceptance, there is nothing that would be able to stop us as long as whatever we did came from a place of openness, and a truly love focused place.

So, just remember that even though the media try to make the masses focus on one event, and then use that event to rile humanity up, there is another, better, and more loving way to accept someone, or something other then following the heard over the cliff into the abyss of hatred and/or blind "faith" in the system.

I will leave you with a quote from Gandhi: "The greatness of a nation and it's moral progress can be judged by the way it's animals are treated".

D

Where from here

I wanted to put something "down on paper" as it were, to see if there is any specific direction this blog wants to go. I know when I originally started it, I intended it to be more of a sounding board of what is going on out in the "real" world, and how I see those experiences. But, I have now shared with you a couple of more personal posts, which I did not foresee happening when I started this.

So, this is your chance to let me know what you think, give me suggestions, or help this blog develop into something new and unique.

I'm not 100% sure where I would like this blog to venture to, but I am open to letting it develop into something more then just a sounding board of my frustrations and grieving of life experiences. What would that look like? That's a good question. I am a writer, and a poet, but I do not necessarily want this to be a repository for my works of writing.

I guess we could all take the journey on this path and just see where it goes. However in the interim, I will continue to write about personal/world happenings until such time as we all see where this blog is heading.

So, since I posted the blog yesterday, nothing earth shattering has happened, and there has not been anything "new" news worthy to report on that I am aware of. That said, I do not watch news or pay attention to any of the propaganda on the zombie box. In fact, I do not subscribe to any television services at all. Free or paid. I am a big movie watcher though, and I'm missing going to the theater to see the next big blockbuster because of all of this crazy azz BS that the world is being programmed to believe. Of curse, I am talking about the covid19 situation. If there is anything that I am waiting for, it's the opportunity to go see a first run movie on the big screen again.

Before I get to deep into the mire of the current times we are living in, I'll stop talking about it now.

One movie that I was not able to see when it came out was Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker. Now, I'm not a huge Star Wars nerd, but I do love my sci-fi genre. So, I am looking forward to seeing that once I can rent it on DVD, or when I just break down and buy it. I don't like just running right out and buying movies without watching them first though, but again, in the times we are in, even redbox is not working "as normal". I have yet to see the new Star Wars movie available in my local redbox machine. I'm sure I'll see it at some point in the near future.

I suppose that's enough for today. Something else for those of you who may be reading these blogs regularly to think about and let me know is do you want to see something new every day? Or, maybe once a week, or twice a week. So, feel free to post a little blurb below in the comments to let me know about this as well.

Until next time,

D.

Finding The Silver Lining

Finding the rainbow in times of #loss can be a challenge. Especially when you have lost someone, or something that seems to have made your life complete. However, at the end of the grieving process, things start to slowly, VERY slowly, start to look positive once again.

As I am beginning to emerge from the cave of sorrow, things are starting to look bright once again. I am slowly starting to smile, slowly "caring" about what happens in the world again, and slowly, ever so slowly, getting used to the idea of my buddy not being here, on this plane of existence to share his life with me any more. I still have my good days and my not so good days, but I do my best to trust the process and let the healing, regardless of how long it may take, take it's course.

Getting to the point of feeling "normal" once again is a chore, and it will be some time before I am able to honestly say that I feel "normal". However, every day is an opportunity for me to get out into the world, even during these crazy times, and practice being a human being once again. For those of you who may have lost a beloved pet, you understand where I am coming from. For those that do not understand how attached to your heart an animal can be, give it time. One day there will be one that you feel is more family then just a "pet".

As I continue to journey down this path, stay tuned to learn more about where I will end up once I get a position in the radio industry, which is what my degree is in. In the mean time, I am taking every day one step at a time, and being as gentle with myself as I can. It's not easy, but I'm doing my best.

Until next time,

Dan

Two Universal Truths

My Buddy - The Christed Buddha

As we are going through these times of challenging uncertainty, there are two things that have been put onto my path recently. These two universal truths that are my ever present companion are change and loss.

As if being on this planet right now, and having to endure the times that we are in were not enough, some of us have had to endure more. I myself had to experience a loss of major proportions recently. An unexpected, and shocking situation that came out of nowhere. This experience was the necessity of putting my cat to sleep. Understand that this was not "just my pet". He was my buddy, my support, and my companion in life. I rescued him when I was living in Charlotte, over ten years ago, and we learned to live with one another relatively easily. He was in every part of my life, and as a veteran, helped me through more times than I can count because of my need to isolate sometimes from the civilian world.

It's been just over two weeks now since I had to let my buddy the Buddha go, and there are still emotions that come up for me to deal with. Again, in order to understand where I am coming from, you have to be able to know that a pet can sometimes be like a family member, or possibly something more. I sometimes thought that we may have even been soul family, and that I had a "clause" in my contract that I signed before I chose to manifest in this particular life time that said something to the effect that "you will find and care for one another to the best of your ability".

I have to say that I am still taken a back somewhat at the bond that I developed with my buddy. It's amazing to me to think that one can become so attached to an animal, which filled more space in my life then just being a pet.

So, as we all continue to maneuver through these times, remember that there may be those others out in society that have had to endure more hardship then you can understand at this particular time, and try and have a little compassion for them. As they may be very sad, and feel like their world is being unraveled before them.

Be safe, and remember to always question the "official narrative".