Male Masculinity And Other Social Norms Society Has Outgrown

Today I want to discuss with you some of the social norms that I have been bumping up against during my healing process, and how they seem to be outdated.

First I would like to cover my own experiences, as a male in a society that still seems to have very explicit "expectations" of what I should or shouldn't do because of how I was biologically born.

Reintroduced to emotions

As I have ventured through this amazingly difficult, and challenging time of my life, I have been reintroduced, to a degree, to emotions, and what they may look like when manifesting in the physical. Specifically, I have been dealing with a lot of sadness, and anger. Both of which are normal for someone going through a loss. As I started this journey, when I started to cry, if it was out in public somewhere, I tended to hold the tears back, and not show any emotion because that would seem "weak" in the eyes of anyone who may notice me, being a male in the U.S. social construct. As I continued to feel sad, and angry, because of how I was programmed by society, I tried to not show any emotions when I was out and about in my local community. Because, you know as well as I do, "men don't cry", and men are the "stronger gender", etc etc. I could share other cliche statements, but I hope you get what I am trying to say. As a male in the society of the U.S., especially so for me being a former military person, I am expected to "be strong" and just carry on with life as nothing had happened. However, it's the 21st century now, and things need to change in this aspect. They need to change for men as well as women in the U.S.

It's time for social norms to change

I feel as though there is more of an allowance for males to express their emotions freely in public, or in general, then there used to be ten or twenty years ago. However, I also believe we still have a long way to go before society, generally speaking, is open and welcoming of men expressing themselves naturally. At the same time, we see more women taking on traditionally "male roles" in society, which is great. You'll notice that I have a picture of Rosie The Riveter at the top of this blog because she was one of the earliest examples of pushing the boundaries of social norms to wake the world up to the facts that women were able to do just as much as men could do, and sometimes more. Again, because of the times that we are in, I find it surprising at the very least, that we still have some outdated beliefs that most people in society hang on to. Isn't it time that we woke up to the fact that we are all human beings, and able to do anything we want to do, individually?

Being encouraged to show emotions

I went to a support group recently for people who had suffered a loss of a pet, and the coordinator of the group encouraged me to show my emotions, and to do so when I felt it necessary. To hear someone telling me that "it was ok" to show my sadness, and to let my emotions flow freely, was very empowering to me. You have to understand that coming from a background that I have, those words spoke volumes to me, and gave me "permission" to be who I truly am. An emotional being.

It's ok to be who you really are

So, if you happen to start feeling a certain way, and feel the need to express yourself, in a safe and positive way, do so. As this will allow you to be more of who and what you are truly meant to be, remembering that every single human being on the planet has both masculine, and feminine traits within them. Learn to love who and what you are in all of the amazing, flawed, perfect, humanness that your meant to be.

UNT,

D